What's "fair" anyways?

"It's not fair!"

Words I've uttered then stomped my foot after... I'm ashamed to admit, not as long ago as one might think, although yes, it did happen when I was a child too. :) I heard the words (without the foot stomp) from a good friend in pain a few days back, and it got me thinking about the statement.

Fair. Okay, so what is fair? In this context, I think we can agree on the following definition from Dictionary.com:

fair, adjective:
free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice: a fair decision; a fair judge.

It implies either no judgement, or unbiased judgement. But when we're in the throws of great emotion, I think it's safe to say that we are passing judgement on our situatioj, and it's definitely not unbiased. So who makes these decisions? Why do these situations arise? I know the expression "What goes around comes around" sometimes plays out, but what happens when perfectly good, kind people are heaped on with such injustices that it's painful to watch? (I'd like to interject here that I'm not referring to my 8 year old self who lost the summer camp competitions to my younger brother, although it hardly seemed fair at the time.)

I think the root of it is that there are no answers. You can blame it on karma, the universe, the weather, someone else - it doesn't matter. Because at the root of it all, it is what it is - and if it's not fair, you still need to deal with it. There is a certain grace that can be seen from making the best out of any situation. I certainly do not always possess this grace, but on occasion I do, and I strive to make the most out of whatever hand I'm dealt. Here is my personal insight on what to do. Please feel free to comment with your suggestions, or inquire about specific cases if you need advice.

When it seems like there's just too much to do - break it into smaller pieces. No one can do everything at once (Heck, even the bible says that God of all beings took a week to create the world) so don't put that kind of pressure on yourself. Plus, the appearance that there's too much is because you're seeing it all at once. I'm pretty sure when climbing Everest, people didn't just see a huge mountain - they see conquerable pieces of the mountain, and they climb them, one by one til they reach the apex. Celebrate your little victories, even if it's just an acknowledgement, a sigh of relief, a tick off a to-do list. Make sure you know it's one less thing you have to worry about. And speaking of to-do lists,they're awesome. I highly reccommend them. They saved my bacon this week.

When things are just not working out - try new ways, and if that doesn't work, learn to accept. I've written before about my struggle with acceptance, but every time I submit to the universe,things get easier. They fall into place. It's truly remarkable. I chastise myself for resisting so long, which hopefully won't happen soon enough when I learn to not resist in the first place. :) But seriously - this doesn't mean to sit back and wait for life to get better. You still need to be in the driver's seat of your existence. But sometimes, things are just out of our control, and we dont' know what the universe has in store for us. So when we practice acceptance, we release our grip on what could have been, and we open ourselves up to the possibilities of what is coming our way.... what IS.

Lastly, I'll leave you with this quote:
“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” - Dale Carnegie

(I thought that would be better than the lemons, lemonade or cloud, silver lining speeches)

Best of luck to you!
Much love,
Seena Beana