The Power Of Your Words...

We’ve all heard the expression “the power of positive thinking” but have you considered “the power of negative thinking”? We breathe life into the things we think (and say) – think of it… When you’re a young child, scared of the dark because of the shadows you can see in your room, what causes that fear? The thought of something lurking in those shadows, and because we think it, it becomes true to us.

In past posts, I’ve alluded to not having had the easiest life growing up. When I was 17, I was very fortunately (though I didn’t realize it at the time) given the opportunity to start a new life, in a new province, with new parents (my aunt and uncle). After only a few short weeks living there, my uncle gave me a new house rule: no speaking badly about myself. I would frequently say things like “I’m so stupid” and other self deprecating statements, and it was stunting my ability to become a new, happier person in my new environment. I listened to self help tapes (yes TAPES) and for awhile there, I actually was thinking more positively. Other things changed that, but that’s a story for another day…

When I first had the idea to start my jewellery business, I kept saying “I’m trying to start a business” and I’ve been working on changing that wording. By saying “trying” I essentially have a scape goat if I fail… But I don’t want a scape goat! I’ve started saying “I’m starting a business” which is more active, and holds me accountable for my actions. Beware of little scape goats you may use… “thinking” is another one I’m guilty of throwing in to absolve myself if an endeavour doesn’t succeed. Remember: We breathe life into what we think and say. So choose your words wisely – both internal and external words – and make your dreams come true.

Love and Light,

SB

We are truly blessed....

When I say "blessed" I'm not referring to any particular religion, and I'm trying to not sound preachy. (My apologies if I fail at this) Whatever you believe in, when good things come your way, you need to give thanks - whomever it is to. And honestly, when bad things come your way, when possible (and believe me, this is difficult) give thanks for that too. So many good things come out of bad situations. I won't bore you with my life story, but suffice it to say that despite the crap I've experienced, much good came out of it. I am formed of my experiences, and many of them have not been good. What I've noticed lately is that finding peace within me has given me the ability to forget much of the bad, and the good that came as a result seems to be more prominent in my memory.

I moved out at the age of 17, with a bus ticket back to BC, a friend's house to stay at, and not much else. I struggled finding work, then a place to live within my budget. I was unable to get social assistance because they couldn't reach my parents to approve, and I was a minor. So many things tumbled out of a series of events that sprouted there, and not once did I go hungry... I always had a place to stay. I was embraced by wonderful people - many of which I've lost touch with, and I wish I hadn't because I'd like to extend more thanks. I don't even know that I was truly appreciative then, nor do I know if I had the capacity for that much gratitude. But I look back, even know with losing my job several months ago - the rent has always been paid, and we've always had food. Yes, we've lost some luxuries, but our basic necessities have always been met.

Basic necessities... now this gets tricky. Many people who have not had to go without have a very different concept of things we "need" and things we "want". I was guilty of that - even though I've never been "rich" I was certainly comfortable, and had a skewed view of what my necessities were. Losing everything is actually really good for the spirit. It's good to gain perspective and assess what actually matters. I think that's why, with all the humility that I can conjure up, I can say "We are truly blessed".

And maybe "We" is not a fair term. There are places in the world that do not have our social programs, who don't care for their own as I've experienced. Even my crappy childhood - I mean, there are much worse. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we need to be appreciative of what we have, and live our lives in gratitude. This shares our abundance with others, and will have a snowball effect on all of humanity. (That might be a bit of a stretch...) :) It's the whole "Pay it forward" notion... give it a try, I bet you'll like what becomes of it.

Sending warm wishes for a wonderful week!
SB

If not now, then when?

I have become a victim of inertia.

In so many different times in my life, I've allowed myself to become stagnant... I've done it in work, I've done it in personal relationships... Sometimes I say that I'm just "comfortable" but in many cases I now realize that the underlying factor is fear.

My #1 love is theatre. (Of course I love blogging too, hee hee) At the age of 14 I became a student at a performing arts high school (think Fame) and even then, I said "I'm going to do this now because it's fun, but this isn't a practical career, so I won't be doing it professionally." Because of this, and a series of personal troubles, I left the drama program half way through my third year (it's a 4 year program) and wound up graduating high school at another school all together. What is it about practicality that is so embedded into a teenage heart that allows her to squash her own dreams? Well, here it is: Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of not being able to pay my bills. Fear of rejection. I could keep going, but I think you get the picture.

A few years later I decided to hell with fear, I'm going to apply to study radio broadcasting. Except my first application was never completed, so of course I wasn't accepted. It took a few years and a few dead end jobs that I loathed (and made me loathe myself) before my best friend forced me to apply again, but this time, complete the application. I got in... and within the first week they told us that in radio, you make no money.... I finished the program, but then became paralyzed with fear of moving away again, starting somewhere new, and of course impending student loan payments, and a long diet of nothing but Ramen that I never pursued it.

So it comes to this... I lost my corporate job, and I've spent the last 5 months living my life. I've done a lot of inner work, and spent many an hour on Facebook. I've applied for the odd job here and there, and even went for a couple of interviews. But I haven't been applying myself. In the last 5 months, I've been a passive participant in my own life.

A couple of weeks back a friend suggested I join the mailing list for Tama Kieves and author who's book was also recommended to me, but I haven't gotten around to reading yet. (When I do, rest assured the review will be here.) She sent out a newsletter a week or so back and the subject line read: "If you don't start living your dreams now, when will you?" I didn't open the message... Again, I was afraid of what it would say. If the subject line was enough to haunt me, what sort of life changing message would be within it. But you know what happened? It haunted me anyways... and then suddenly, I just decided to be active in my life again. Like a flick of a switch. In the last week I've started working on a fundraiser for my next play (which I said I couldn't do until I was working again to fund it - HA!) and a new business that will help me release my inner healer (something I thought I couldn't do without extensive training). These are two areas I've really wanted to focus on for the last several months, but kept making excuses for why I couldn't do what I really love. Well... pardon me for saying so but FUCK excuses. If not now - then WHEN?

I wish I could give you the exact recipe because I know when I was stuck in inertia, if someone said "if you just do this then you can have your life back" but I don't have any secrets to share. I think maybe you just need to find something to light a fire under your butt. Maybe it'll be this blog post, or maybe a subject line in an email, or a Facebook status. (I did put that quote as mine.) Whatever it is, I hope you find it soon. Because there is always a choice: we choose inertia, even when it doesn't seem that way. We think we have to be paralyzed by fear, but we don't. So find some inspiration and go out and do what you love: I promise you, it's good for the soul.