Boundaries

This is a funny topic, because in most cases, boundaries are something we imagine or barricades that we set up against ourselves, as opposed to actual living breathing things. But the boundaries I’m referring to now are not those of our own creation. (Limitations we create as self fulfilling prophecies are a conversation for another day) I’m speaking of our own boundaries, and those of the people we love around us.

We need to honour boundaries, whether they be our own, or someone else’s. In the case of our own, we often dismiss them because they are not convenient for others, or they clash with something we are trying to obtain. But our boundaries are there for a reason – they protect us, they give us a gut check for where our comfort zone lies, and they keep us in line with our essence as well as our values and morals. When this needs to be challenged is when it’s something that doesn’t go against these things – that’s when you can tell if something is a self created limitation or a boundary. Let’s look at a couple of examples which are exaggerated for the purpose of demonstration:

1. A fear of public speaking – this is not something one would find morally wrong, but could definitely be uncomfortable. This is the type of boundary that would be good to challenge as it poses opportunity for growth.

2. An affair with a married person – this is the type of action that can rob us of our essence, and pull us away from living in line with our true inner light.

** Please note, everyone has their own choices, and their own boundaries to respect. I mean no offense when using examples, they are simply of use to illustrate examples that many can identify with.

Then of course there are the boundaries of others. Life would be simple if we all communicated our boundaries, and even better – if we were all awake enough to be aware of them. However sometimes, we don’t discover a boundary until we step on it (our own, or others) and sometimes, even when we know something will go against the grain, we are not comfortable to communicate it to another. If someone is going against your boundaries, there is nothing wrong with politely telling them – if they love you, they will respect that. But sacrificing yourself on the altar of another in order to not rock the boat disrespects you. And anyone living true to their essence would hate to be the one violating you knowingly. When there is no communication, we are unfortunately left with the task of evaluating the evidence. The end of communication with friends or lovers can often be a crime scene without a body – you look at the facts, try to piece together what happened, and use this to come to a conclusion. Sometimes this will lead us to making assumptions. But what else can we do? Sometimes, taking a step back to let the dust fall is a necessary approach, which may result in uncovering the “body” so to speak. By giving another space and time, we allow them to repair the hurt we cause by overstepping our boundaries (or the hurt they cause by surrendering their boundaries), and hopefully come back to the table to discuss so we can avoid it from happening again.

I'm sending some light to show you your boundaries in hopes they will always be respected.

Lovingly yours,
Seena Beana